Adoptee-to-Adoptee: Stop. Recharge. Begin Again.

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Can I tell you something? When I first started writing this blogpost, it had a completely different energy. Initially, my thoughts were focused on writing the heavier side of adoption. My words were weighted. My heart felt burdened.

Maybe that’s because I’m feeling A LOT right now: preps for an upcoming surgery, planning for my recovery, and all the “mom feels” you can have when you’ll be away from your kids.

I could hear my self-talk whispering that I was “drained,” “depleted,” and “overdone.” Moving through the many layered emotions of this season has been demanding on my mindset and on my heart. Earlier today, in the middle of spiraling into limiting language, I heard an even louder voice that said—STOP!

This voice urged me to get up out of my chair, take my laptop outside, fill my lungs with oxygen, recharge, and begin again. I needed a change of perspective. And, stat!

We all need that, from time to time. Life can throw us some mighty big curveballs. For a moment, I wanted to isolate myself and hide. That’s been my challenge as an adoptee: reminding myself that I possess the power to face the curveball.

You see, I’m an adoptee who has struggled. Just like so many others, I’ve faced many demons inside of my adoption journey. I’ve felt defeated and overcome. Rejected and forgotten. I’ve been angry and outraged. Hurt and afraid. Isolation and loneliness have held me captive. There were times when these emotions seemed to have the upper hand. I was left disempowered and scared.

Then, a voice called out to me. In the middle of my despair and in the throws of my pain, I heard the same voice that I did earlier today. It said—STOP. RECHARGE. BEGIN AGAIN.

It can be a struggle to listen and to trust that voice. Standing up when I want to fall down takes muscle. Mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual muscle. Here’s a fact: adoptees have real and valid reason to fall on the floor and stay there. Life has shown us the ugly face of abandonment, rejection, neglect, abuse, and betrayal. Often, we can become engulfed—swallowed up—by the darkness of it all.

Staying down is not who we are, though. Adoptees are resilient people. It’s important for us to acknowledge our resiliency. It’s what we’re made of. I offer this thought to every adoptee reading my words: when those darker shadows fall all over you, I hope you’ll say to yourself—Stop. Recharge. Begin again. I hope you’ll listen to these words and take action.

Then, I encourage you to surround yourself with positive energy. Don’t stay in the negative. Those life curveballs may have you thinking that you’re at the end of your story. The truth is that you’re only in the middle! There is so much ahead for you. You need people around you who will remind you of this. Pull together encouraging quotes that bring you back to the hope of your story. One of my favorites is this:

“Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.”  ~Lalah Delia

Isn’t that amazing? To think that right now you’re transforming into who you are meant to be. You’re in the middle of your amazing story. I feel it. Do you?

Maybe you’re thinking, how can you possibly understand what I’m going through? I’ll answer that question this way:

I hold the deepest respect for you. I hold the utmost respect for your journey as an adoptee. Just the fact that you’re reading my words, right now, tells me that we share a similar language. I believe that it doesn’t really matter if my adoption journey looks differently than yours. Or, if we hold opposing perspectives on the experiences we’ve had. What matters is that we’re in this together. Adoptee-to-adoptee. We have a shared energy!

We’re seekers and we’re trackers of truth. I don’t know your story intimately but I do know this—your potential holds no limits. You are limitless. You already carry within you everything you need to transcend and transform the challenges of your adoption story. You are capable of healing the hurts.

I believe in you.

And, that’s not just talk.

It’s truth.

It’s important for you to believe, too.

You possess the ingredients, right here and right now, to triumph and rise up over the pain. When the world sends you an opposing message, and when you start believing the world—that’s when you stop believing in the potential of you. Which in my opinion, is the greatest tragedy of all.

Don’t let the world, or the hurts of your adoption story, or anything and anyone else take the truth of who you are from you.

Who are you?

Say it. Say it out loud. Say it over and over again.

Believe in the powerful ingredients you possess.

When those moments hit, and I know they will—STOP. RECHARGE. BEGIN AGAIN.

I did that today, when I was writing to you.

I trusted my inner voice. I listened.

I left the dark thoughts.

I declared the light of my purpose and I came outside and stood in that light.

I spoke words of truth to myself: I am limitless.

I said these three words over and over to myself, and to the blue sky above me.

Until I felt the power of those words.

Until I became those words.

I wrote something new from this truth-filled identity. It’s what I’m sharing with you, now. And, it carries a whole, new energy. An energy of promise and hope.

That’s the language I want to speak to every adoptee.

You see, the most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself.

When your words make you feel small—stop, recharge, begin again.

Speak the truth.

Your truth. Speak it now.

I’ll speak mine.

My truth is that I’m capable of handling what’s ahead of me and I embrace the renewed health that awaits me. I am limitless. I feel my own transformation, even on the harder days. I’m becoming more and more me. 

Onward,