Don’t let the world, or the hurts of your adoption story, or anything and anyone else take the truth of who you are from you.Read More
Why do I write so transparently about the adoptee experience?
Because I know that there are other adoptees in the world, right now, who feel isolated and are frustrated by this sense of isolation. That's not to say that these same adoptees are not loved and cherished by their adoptive families, it's just that adoption—for the adoptee—can feel lonely.Read More
When life is the most hectic and the most challenging is when we discover the true scope of our strength and our resilience.
I’d like to share an important truth with you: adoptees have a biological story. They possess a birth history. A biology. The biology of who they are came before adoption was written into the pages of their biography.
Adoptees will feel this biology pulsing within them for all of their lives. No. Matter. What.
Their biology exists. It’s real.
It’s ever-present. It’s a fact.
It’s the genealogy of adoption.Read More
It's time to make a shift and begin turning the false language into truth-filled mantras. Time to silence your inner critic. Our thoughts and inner-dialogue create our reality. Choose wisely! If the most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any, then start believing that you do.Read More
As adoptees—and as human beings—we deeply desire love and connection. Remaining in an unforgiving state blocks us from getting the very thing we long for the most. When we can’t bring ourselves to forgive, we sentence ourselves to sadness. We see danger in every relationship. We’re scared to be vulnerable. Hope is stifled.Read More
I thank you for everything; for the hard landings and for the softer ones. I thank you because each experience has made me the woman I am today. I have bridged the gaps that once felt like they would swallow me whole. I have become whole. I have become me. The girl and now the woman who has journeyed the fullest circle of adoption.Read More
As an adult adoptee, coming back to Europe always makes me smile. I feel at home here. I feel home. International adoption took me far away from my biological roots. And, on the other side, it brought me closer to understanding a deeper meaning of love, of inclusion, and of family. Both sides of the adoption experience have helped to mold me into the person I am today. I’m so grateful to be at a point in my life where I can find value in the two: in the biology and the biography of me.Read More
It is true: adoption is both loss and gain. It’s beautiful and it’s broken. It’s a coming apart and then a coming together. Someone must exit for another someone to enter. There’s joy and sorrow surrounding adoption. It’s really important to acknowledge both—to hold, in tandem, the contrasting emotions and realities of adoption. If we don’t, we risk not being real. And, authenticity in adoption is greatly needed.Read More
Adoption, as both an international adoptee and mom-by-international adoption, has framed so much of how I see the world around me. This framing has architected within me a deep and profound compassion and empathy for those who hurt and are alone.Read More
I have, as an adoptee, dealt with feelings of rejection and an over-arching belief that I was not worthy of love. Rejection can have that type of effect on a person. It strips you of a sense of dignity. It devalues. It shames. As for me, rejection and the abandonment that took place at the hands of my first parents left behind many wounds. Nothing seems safe when the people a child should be able to rely on the most—their parents—turn and walk away. No matter a parent’s reason or circumstance, the rejection—the leaving behind of a child—can cause lingering wounds. Everything—love, trust, relationships, family, friendships, the present, and the future—can seem uncertain in the child’s eyes.Read More
I used to avoid talking about my adoption. It was the last thing I wanted to share. I'm not sure why because the fact that I was adopted was evident. People could clearly see that I was not biologically related to my family members.
The fact that I didn't resemble anyone in my family was a painful truth. My being different, in that way, was embarrassing. It made me feel like I didn't belong. Like I couldn't ever really be included, or claimed. So very often, I wanted to hide.Read More
As an adoptee, it seems—for me—that there have been many changing seasons in my lifetime. Many transitions and shifts in the wind.
The seasons of adoption—sometimes temperate and sometimes harsh—have, in the past, had control over my ability to experience a sustainable happiness. Something would be said, or not said. Someone would leave. Something within would be triggered. A calm season could quickly change into a turbulent one.Read More
I traveled the country this past week, from coast to coast, to speak on behalf of people who are living the adoption and foster care experience. Sharing my own story, as an adoptee, and the wisdom I’ve learned along the way. It was a true honor to connect with so many amazing hearts.
I was encouraged to see adoptees rising up to share their personal viewpoints and their journeys. This is critical! Without adoptee voices, this adoption and foster care community is not fully represented.Read More